Corporation files to run for Congress

CORP FLAG(SCHOLARS & ROGUES)   The Supreme Court has decreed that corporations are persons and money is speech, so it was only a matter of time before a company decided to exercise its Constitutional right to run for Congress.

Following the recent Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission to allow unlimited corporate funding of federal campaigns, Murray Hill Inc. today announced it is filing to run for U.S. Congress. “Until now,” Murray Hill Inc. said in a statement, “corporate interests had to rely on campaign contributions and influence-peddling to achieve their goals in Washington. But thanks to an enlightened Supreme Court, now we can eliminate the middle-man and run for office ourselves.” Murray Hill Inc. is believed to be the first “corporate person” to exercise its constitutional right to run for office.

“The strength of America,” Murray Hill Inc. said, “is in the boardrooms, country clubs and Lear jets of America’s great corporations. We’re saying to Wal-Mart, AIG and Pfizer, if not you, who? If not now, when?” Murray Hill Inc. added: “It’s our democracy. We bought it, we paid for it, and we’re going to keep it.” Murray Hill Inc., a diversifying corporation in the Washington, D.C. area, has long held an interest in politics and sees corporate candidacy as an “emerging new market.”

The announcement represents a landmark moment in American politics, as former President George W. Bush’s dream of an “ownership society” is finally realized. Still, important questions remain for the candidate. For instance:

  • How will Murray Hill go about modernizing the nation’s antiquated system of “elections.” Surely there’s a more efficient way of generating broad consensus, and citizens shareholders will be looking to emerging politicorporate leaders to quickly craft best-of-breed solutions to maximize return and lower total cost of ownership going forward.
  • Is it safe to assume that under-performing sectors of the country will be spun off or sold? (Specifically, it’s anticipated that Nebraska, New Jersey, South Carolina and Texas will come in for much-needed scrutiny.)
  • What role will outsourcing play in bureaucratic reform? Certainly business units like Health & Human Services and Interior could be managed more cost-effectively in Bangalore.
  • Opposition to corporate/government merger and acquisition activity remains and buy-in will be needed from significant segments of the marketplace. However, Murray Hill has so far presented no marketecture for how it will capture sufficient mindshare to ensure the campaign’s success.
  • What strategies will be employed to insulate United States of America, Inc. against hostile takeovers by international competitors?
  • What does the company see as its key differentiators with respect to competitors in the crowded “governance” space?

It’s still early in the game, of course, but investors will be anxiously awaiting as Murray Hill’s brand group crafts a mission statement and works to socialize its unique value proposition among key stakeholders.

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